Divorce—my experience, part 1
I haven’t seen this topic addressed very much at other financial planning weblogs. I thought I would post my experience, which I don’t pretend is typical. Hopefully it can help frame some issues for people and provide tips that can help those in the process. And maybe other bloggers will share their experiences. It’s not something you plan for, but maybe some good can come from sharing information.
The good:
* All bank accounts and credit card accounts were terminated immediately and we set up separate accounts.
* We used a paralegal firm that handled all the paperwork for court cost plus a flat fee. This was perfect for us since there were no contentious items. I highly recommend this approach if the circumstances fit.
* We were able to divide up the assets and debts equally. Our incomes were also relatively equal, so there were no long-term strings regarding finances that trailed on after the dissolution. We had to provide all the information on everything we had, then it was fed into software (DissoMaster, or something similar) and it fell within acceptable guidelines.
The bad:
* We did not pursue the legal/administrative process for 3 years after the divorce was acceded. Fortunately we were both positioning ourselves for post-marriage life and not taking on debt, making long-term financial commitments, etc. I defer to legal experts here, but if either of us decided to go wild during this period it could have impacted both of us for the long term.
* For a significant stretch while we were married, I failed to take advantage of my company’s retirement plan since my spouse’s company had a nice matching program. We decided to maximize her contribution at the expense of mine. Therefore my retirement funds post-divorce were minimal.
* Right after we decided on the divorce, I lost my job. I took a temp job so I wouldn’t feel rushed into accepting just any job in order to make ends meet. This ended up being one of the best moves I made, since it gave me the time to find something that has paid off in the long term more than I could have imagined.
My net worth in the divorce agreement less than 10 years ago was less than $20,000. And most of that worth was listed under personal items. Maybe Bismarck was onto something when he said God offered protection to fools, drunks, and Americans (or as he said it, the U.S.A.). I must be triply blest.
There were several things that made all the difference in financial improvement after the divorce: landing the right job at the right company, meeting the right woman for me, and buying a home in the San Francisco Bay area market. A fourth item would be luck, but I can’t analyze that. I wish I could claim insight or comprehensive planning on these items, but I can’t so luck takes a large share of credit for my results.
I’ll follow up on items in a separate post. But the short ‘answer’ for my stumbling to success is that all three (OK, four) items are intertwined.
The good:
* All bank accounts and credit card accounts were terminated immediately and we set up separate accounts.
* We used a paralegal firm that handled all the paperwork for court cost plus a flat fee. This was perfect for us since there were no contentious items. I highly recommend this approach if the circumstances fit.
* We were able to divide up the assets and debts equally. Our incomes were also relatively equal, so there were no long-term strings regarding finances that trailed on after the dissolution. We had to provide all the information on everything we had, then it was fed into software (DissoMaster, or something similar) and it fell within acceptable guidelines.
The bad:
* We did not pursue the legal/administrative process for 3 years after the divorce was acceded. Fortunately we were both positioning ourselves for post-marriage life and not taking on debt, making long-term financial commitments, etc. I defer to legal experts here, but if either of us decided to go wild during this period it could have impacted both of us for the long term.
* For a significant stretch while we were married, I failed to take advantage of my company’s retirement plan since my spouse’s company had a nice matching program. We decided to maximize her contribution at the expense of mine. Therefore my retirement funds post-divorce were minimal.
* Right after we decided on the divorce, I lost my job. I took a temp job so I wouldn’t feel rushed into accepting just any job in order to make ends meet. This ended up being one of the best moves I made, since it gave me the time to find something that has paid off in the long term more than I could have imagined.
My net worth in the divorce agreement less than 10 years ago was less than $20,000. And most of that worth was listed under personal items. Maybe Bismarck was onto something when he said God offered protection to fools, drunks, and Americans (or as he said it, the U.S.A.). I must be triply blest.
There were several things that made all the difference in financial improvement after the divorce: landing the right job at the right company, meeting the right woman for me, and buying a home in the San Francisco Bay area market. A fourth item would be luck, but I can’t analyze that. I wish I could claim insight or comprehensive planning on these items, but I can’t so luck takes a large share of credit for my results.
I’ll follow up on items in a separate post. But the short ‘answer’ for my stumbling to success is that all three (OK, four) items are intertwined.
posted by Dwight at
8:57 PM
1 Comments:
You are right. There are absolutely no blogs or sites that even come close to this topic or subject matter. I am going through a divorce myself and hope to give insight as well. Much success to you.
By
Bein Illogical Makes A Lot Of Sense, at 3:58 PM
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