Divorce—part 2
I mentioned in the previous post that there were three things I did during and after the divorce that has made all the difference in financial improvement.
The first item was finding the right job for me at a great company. Immediately after the divorce was decided, I lost my job. Instead of rushing out and getting the first thing that came my way, I took a temp job. In the heated job market in Silicon Valley of the late ‘90s it was easy to find something that allowed me to interview while still having money come in. I decided on a company that wasn’t part of the internet boom of the time because it was a small, fast-growing company that created a new market in the medical industry, plus I felt like I ‘clicked’ with my boss and with my peers. True to form, all of that went to hell almost immediately. The company was bought out by a large company—it turned out they had no idea what to do with us and it had an impact on employee retention. Most of my peers and superiors left the company shortly after the acquisition. I hung in there and I had a great opportunity to advance as many left.
Eventually the parent company figured out what to do with us, which was to leave us where we were. Our division did extremely well in the new market it had created while the parent company stagnated. It was frustrating at times to see all my friends making tons of money (on paper) while their dot.com companies soared. Our parent company, after the hemorrhage of employees accelerated, gave extra stock options and bonuses to retain those they deemed key employees. Much of these extras were not worth anything for years, but eventually paid off handsomely as the parent company regained its footing and began solid growth on the top and bottom lines. The additional 401K matching and bonuses, stock options, and performance incentives have really added up over the years, simply because I stuck through the tough times.
Another factor was meeting the right woman for me. I could go into great detail about how wonderful my wife is in so many ways (and I’m sure I will in future posts), but for now the issue I will focus on is how we complement each other in finances. Between us we can set and balance short-term and long-term goals. My strengths offset her weaknesses and she shores up my fiscal deficiencies. While I won’t go into much detail on this item, I can’t emphasize enough how important it is for both people in a relationship to be in tune financially.
The first two items lead directly to the third achievement, which was buying a home in the San Francisco Bay area. Having a company that offered opportunities to advance, having a generous pay plan and incentives, and having a partner helping me achieve our goals led to the opportunity to buy a home in this surreal real estate market. After the divorce I had resigned myself to never being able to buy a home in this area. Everything slowly came into place and many things were deferred to be able to get into the market. And as I mentioned in a previous post, my wonderful wife found the perfect home for us when she was 8 ½ months pregnant. This has been a beneficial move for us beyond our wildest dreams.
You hear horror stories of people who never financially recover from divorce. I wanted to share one experience that turned out well after a lot of time, effort, and luck. I don’t know how helpful these posts will be for others, but hopefully it will cover issues that will be beneficial for some.
The first item was finding the right job for me at a great company. Immediately after the divorce was decided, I lost my job. Instead of rushing out and getting the first thing that came my way, I took a temp job. In the heated job market in Silicon Valley of the late ‘90s it was easy to find something that allowed me to interview while still having money come in. I decided on a company that wasn’t part of the internet boom of the time because it was a small, fast-growing company that created a new market in the medical industry, plus I felt like I ‘clicked’ with my boss and with my peers. True to form, all of that went to hell almost immediately. The company was bought out by a large company—it turned out they had no idea what to do with us and it had an impact on employee retention. Most of my peers and superiors left the company shortly after the acquisition. I hung in there and I had a great opportunity to advance as many left.
Eventually the parent company figured out what to do with us, which was to leave us where we were. Our division did extremely well in the new market it had created while the parent company stagnated. It was frustrating at times to see all my friends making tons of money (on paper) while their dot.com companies soared. Our parent company, after the hemorrhage of employees accelerated, gave extra stock options and bonuses to retain those they deemed key employees. Much of these extras were not worth anything for years, but eventually paid off handsomely as the parent company regained its footing and began solid growth on the top and bottom lines. The additional 401K matching and bonuses, stock options, and performance incentives have really added up over the years, simply because I stuck through the tough times.
Another factor was meeting the right woman for me. I could go into great detail about how wonderful my wife is in so many ways (and I’m sure I will in future posts), but for now the issue I will focus on is how we complement each other in finances. Between us we can set and balance short-term and long-term goals. My strengths offset her weaknesses and she shores up my fiscal deficiencies. While I won’t go into much detail on this item, I can’t emphasize enough how important it is for both people in a relationship to be in tune financially.
The first two items lead directly to the third achievement, which was buying a home in the San Francisco Bay area. Having a company that offered opportunities to advance, having a generous pay plan and incentives, and having a partner helping me achieve our goals led to the opportunity to buy a home in this surreal real estate market. After the divorce I had resigned myself to never being able to buy a home in this area. Everything slowly came into place and many things were deferred to be able to get into the market. And as I mentioned in a previous post, my wonderful wife found the perfect home for us when she was 8 ½ months pregnant. This has been a beneficial move for us beyond our wildest dreams.
You hear horror stories of people who never financially recover from divorce. I wanted to share one experience that turned out well after a lot of time, effort, and luck. I don’t know how helpful these posts will be for others, but hopefully it will cover issues that will be beneficial for some.
posted by Dwight at
2:44 PM
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