Dear Chrees
Every now and then I get e-mails asking for advice. I have yet to respond to any of them, so I thought I would just publish some emails and responses here.
Dear Chrees,
After reading “The Millionaire Next Door” I’m a little confused. The attributes and habits they profile are exactly the opposite of me—I’ve been married three times, I change jobs and careers all the time, I like owning new cars, and I’m so deep in debt that I no longer answer the phone. Where should I start first?
Signed,
Overwhelmed
Dear Bill,
Now I know why I see you peeking between the blinds when I come over to get my lawnmower back from you. One of the central tenants of the book is to live below your means. In other words, you can’t afford your current house so sell it and move somewhere else. Although you have given me inspiration to write the next financial self-help book titled The White Trash Next Door. Oh, and be sure to return all my lawn tools before you leave!
Neighborly,
Chrees
Dear Chrees,
I haven’t filed my taxes in over 10 years. Is it too late to contact the government and ask for leniency?
Signed,
Felon like Magellan
Dear Felon,
I’ll need some more information before I can help you. Please send me your full name, address, Social Security number, and tax years involved so I can assist you in your case.
Taxingly,
Chrees
Chrees,
In your previous post you claim the House with Bride woman has no dignity left, yet she has set strict guidelines of what her potential husband should be. Have you no dignity?
Signed,
Disappointed in Denver
Dear Deborah,
The short answer: no. The long answer: just be glad I didn’t go in for cheap and easy jokes about fixer uppers, closing escrow (if you know what I mean), matching of carpet/drapes (or are there hardwood floors?), and aftermarket improvements.
Jokingly,
Chrees
Dear Chrees,
I have recently come into a large sum of money but I’m torn between paying down my mortgage or investing the funds. I’ve bought at least a dozen self-help financial books and they all seem to contradict each other. What should I do?
Signed,
Richie Rich
Dear Dick,
At least a dozen? Hmmmm. There are several ways to analyze this, but space is limited here for going in depth. I would suggest another alternative which is the Chrees Home Course in Personal Finance. There is a chapter on this very topic. The course costs only $9,995 and comes with a money-back guarantee*.
Investingly,
Chrees
*Offer void in 50 states
Dear Chrees,
My husband spends a lot of time online looking at financial weblogs and news. I know a lot of it is researching potential investments, but I feel like he doesn’t care for me anymore. And I’m not saying this just because I’m almost 6 months pregnant, he seems to have…
Whoa, would you like at the time. I need to go now. We’ll continue advice at a future date.
Dear Chrees,
After reading “The Millionaire Next Door” I’m a little confused. The attributes and habits they profile are exactly the opposite of me—I’ve been married three times, I change jobs and careers all the time, I like owning new cars, and I’m so deep in debt that I no longer answer the phone. Where should I start first?
Signed,
Overwhelmed
Dear Bill,
Now I know why I see you peeking between the blinds when I come over to get my lawnmower back from you. One of the central tenants of the book is to live below your means. In other words, you can’t afford your current house so sell it and move somewhere else. Although you have given me inspiration to write the next financial self-help book titled The White Trash Next Door. Oh, and be sure to return all my lawn tools before you leave!
Neighborly,
Chrees
Dear Chrees,
I haven’t filed my taxes in over 10 years. Is it too late to contact the government and ask for leniency?
Signed,
Felon like Magellan
Dear Felon,
I’ll need some more information before I can help you. Please send me your full name, address, Social Security number, and tax years involved so I can assist you in your case.
Taxingly,
Chrees
Chrees,
In your previous post you claim the House with Bride woman has no dignity left, yet she has set strict guidelines of what her potential husband should be. Have you no dignity?
Signed,
Disappointed in Denver
Dear Deborah,
The short answer: no. The long answer: just be glad I didn’t go in for cheap and easy jokes about fixer uppers, closing escrow (if you know what I mean), matching of carpet/drapes (or are there hardwood floors?), and aftermarket improvements.
Jokingly,
Chrees
Dear Chrees,
I have recently come into a large sum of money but I’m torn between paying down my mortgage or investing the funds. I’ve bought at least a dozen self-help financial books and they all seem to contradict each other. What should I do?
Signed,
Richie Rich
Dear Dick,
At least a dozen? Hmmmm. There are several ways to analyze this, but space is limited here for going in depth. I would suggest another alternative which is the Chrees Home Course in Personal Finance. There is a chapter on this very topic. The course costs only $9,995 and comes with a money-back guarantee*.
Investingly,
Chrees
*Offer void in 50 states
Dear Chrees,
My husband spends a lot of time online looking at financial weblogs and news. I know a lot of it is researching potential investments, but I feel like he doesn’t care for me anymore. And I’m not saying this just because I’m almost 6 months pregnant, he seems to have…
Whoa, would you like at the time. I need to go now. We’ll continue advice at a future date.
posted by Dwight at
9:19 PM
1 Comments:
simply hi-larious. will have to spend some time in your archives for more funnies.
By
James L, at 7:01 AM
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