Wal-Mart swings... and misses big

I'm a Wal-Mart agnostic. I dislike going to their stores, but I also don't understand the rightous furor they cause. Shoot, I was happy to see the Maryland court strike down the "Wal-Mart" law which dictated the minimum in health care the company had to spend. But this story shows how out of touch the company is when it comes to advertising:

Desperate to appeal to teens with something other than pencils and backpacks during the crucial back-to-school season, Wal-Mart is launching a highly sanitized, controlled and rather unhip site at walmart.com/schoolyourway. Teens are invited to create their own page, "show it to the world and win some fab prizes," including a chance to have their videos appear in a Wal-Mart TV commercial. Wal-Mart's agency is GSD&M, Austin, Texas.

The opening page shows video of four teens -- a bubbly fashionista, a Texas football player, a quirky skateboarder and an aspiring R&B singer from New York -- who are clearly actors reading a script, although the videos are positioned to appear authentic. Within, there are pages such as "Beth's Backyard Club," where you find a picture of her in a strapless prom dress above the approved quote: "I'll school my way by looking hot in my Wal-Mart clothes to school to catch a cute boy's eye. ..."

Hell, I'm 30 years older than their target audience (pun intended) and even I know this isn't going to work. I understand their concerns, which the article lays out: problems at MySpace.com, the Chevy Tahoe advertising experience that failed, etc. But this... this looks like a parody of a B-movie. Except they're serious... What Initech was to bank software, Wal-Mart is to advertising.